Is your work like Aishwarya Rai?

Recently I saw Mani Ratnam's Magnum Opus PS1 & PS2. Both the parts I felt were the best movies of the year.  In this movie, as we see various powerful warriors going against each other it is a game controlled by attractive women. The one that controlled the most was Nandini played by Aishwarya Rai. 

A blog or perhaps a book be less to describe her beauty.  Anyway as I thought about it I understood the power of being attractive. 

In our everyday life, many talk about competition, and some about healthy competition. For a long time, I thought both were different but with experience, I got to realize that they are the same.  Competition sadly takes our focus from doing the best work to beating someone else's best work or work. 

I would like to present an alternative view on this.  Perhaps what we need to do is be attractive, and create attractive work. The alpha man has to defeat many to climb the top of the chain,  the attractive woman needs to just be her most beautiful and the village works for her. 

Your work needs to be like that attractive woman that everyone desires.  This needs you to work on yourself rather than look at others' strengths and weaknesses. No doubt it is hard work, as attractive work needs a lot more focus. It needs time, and composure or I might add a zen-like quality. 

A blog is less to explain this concept but as my favorite author Devdutt Pattnaik mentions it is about creating Rangbhoomi (place of performing arts) and not Ranbhoomi (place of constant battle)

Rangbhoomi gives pleasure to the performer and the viewer. 

And if the performing art has Aishwarya Rai in it you can seldom take your eyes off her. 

❤️ 

What is middle age?

When does middle age start, and when does it end?

When is it at its peak?

I struggle to put words in this blog as my son keeps asking me questions from his book. Yet! Let me write this blog as I promised myself.

My son has decided to change his target as he now tries to trouble my wife, who is trying to complete some chores. I have some time before she directs him back to me.

I guess midlife starts when promises you make to yourself take a back seat. Decisions have to be thought through a lot more as it affects the lives of many more, and not just yourself. Middle life is a long string of interruptions by many, not just your child but also your parents, the ones you always depend on, but now they depend on you more. But honestly, midlife starts peaking when you start losing elders whose shadow you grew up with. Every other month you hear about that elderly figure who had played with you when you were a child or guided you through tough times.

What is left are memories, and as much as you love the people, memories do become blur with time. Then one day, something reminds you of them. It is an old photo or a reference by someone.  

This post comes from a place of acceptance that many would jump off this journey and never meet again. Some will drop hints others would just go without a word. The end of your journey is no different. Maybe midlife is when you come to a point where you realise there is nothing you can do about it.

Spend time with these fellow travellers. It will not always be how you like, yet later, you will have nothing but memories to remember. These moments of disagreement will also be missed.

My son is back and has played a ridiculous song (Kacha Badam) on Alexa. Let me indulge with him and create another memory to laugh out later.

Middle Class - Sharing A Room, Sharing Time And Sharing Life

Middle-class families, we all have heard this term. Mostly concerning economics. Based on the country's purchasing power, the middle-class changes. In a developing country, the middle class is perhaps not as wealthy as the middle class in a superpower country. This blog is not about economics but more about family. Also, my knowledge is limited to the country I was born in. In India, the middle class has grown to now influence most of the institutions of this country.

Again, this blog is not about the influence of the middle class on India's socio-economy.

Then what is this blog about? Coming to the point...

About 100 years back, the middle class was a family of many brothers living with their children. The house comprised 10 rooms but then divided by the number of people meant every room had 3 or more people sharing the room. 

The middle-class family had individuals who shared rooms; when you shared a room, you shared life.

The generation that grew up in such a house with cousins and uncles, aunts, and grandparents always felt they had no privacy. This generation grew out of the house and came to little cities.

In these cities, they found much smaller houses. These were the parents who had 2 or maybe 3 children. They lived in a tiny house with two bedrooms. The children ended up sharing the room with their siblings. 

Life was earlier shared with cousins; now, it is shared with siblings. The room had walls that were owned by different children. 

There was fun but yet no privacy.

Then, when these children grew out of their homes and travelled to different cities or houses in the same city, they limited themselves to one child. But separating from their parents with a part of the inheritance meant they had lesser purchasing power limiting the space they could buy. 

They were now living in a one-bedroom hall home. The bedroom was shared by the mother, father and child.

The child had to now share the room with her parents. The parents were working, and the child was sharing the room, sharing her life but primarily alone. They had limited time to share. 

And then came a generation that would limit their family based on the rooms. We have a room for parents, one room for the lone child and another spare one used for studying, gaming or, at times working from home.

Rooms are not shared anymore, time is not shared anymore, and with that, life is not shared anymore. 

In conclusion, there is no conclusion. If anything, this is just an observation. Perhaps an observation that everyone might not agree with, but that is fine. There are some problems when you share your room with others, and there are other problems when you have a room but no one else to share it with.

Kashmir - India's Problem Child

                                      ....among multiple FB posts and twitters reactions asking India to teach Pakistan a lesson and some about Pakistanis should leave India we have forgotten Kashmir again.

                                      There was an attack in Uri, an attack in Pathankoat and there were so many other attacks that happened all over India most claimed by India to be done by Pakistan. India gave multiple proofs and used all international pressure but it did not work.
                                      My blog is not about India Pakistan problem because that involves a lot of things which we as common citizens miss out on, the role of China, interests of America and then there is Pakistan internal problem. If one sees the pattern whenever there is an elected government in Pakistan terrorist activities sponsored by their army increases in an attempt to destabilize the government and get the power back in hands of the army....now onto Kashmir

                                     Kashmir is old very old, for sure older than the democratic India. Kashmiris have lived generations being pawn of some ruler or an invader. In 1947 too Kashmir was complicated and it finally got divided just like Punjab and Bangla. Then for years we saw Kashmir in movies and some of us were lucky enough to see it ourself. The houseboats, the snow, the temples and what nice people greeting with smile and warm. Towards the end of 80s we had the massacre of Kashmiri Pandits and since then things have only gone downwards.

                                     Kashmiris have been under army rule for almost 3 decades and it does not look like things will be normal anytime soon. Kashmiri pandit needs justice, some say but justice itself is an imaginary term. What is justice for you might not be justice for someone else. So we really cannot promise justice for them but a peaceful valley with people living in love and harmony is the best thing we can do for the Pandits. Imagine a Kashmir where the locals live together celebrating each others festivals, why imagine? this is how it used to be 3 decades back.

                                     Then we decided to get involved with the Bangladesh independence struggle and later on Pakistan decided to fume a new fire in Kashmir to get it independent. Yes, Kashmir is India's problem child today. So yes Kashmir very much belongs to India there is no point questioning that.
                                       But when we say Kashmir belongs to India what are we talking about? Is it the mountains, rivers, temples, snow, perfect skies or soothing summers?
                                   
                                       When we say Kashmir is ours and we will never give up on it, are we conveniently forgetting Kashmiris. May be we are so you see an angry citizen talking of killing all people in Kashmir and taking control over it. Yes! they don't want us, they might not love us they might be hating us. Yes! they won't be safe independent, Pakistan-China will use them, they will be treated secondary citizen.

                                      So we have a child that hates his parent, he believes he is an adopted child, a child that is conspiring to kill his own brothers for he thinks he is not given his dues, a child that want to flee to the neighbor's house cause the neighbors are showing dream which is far better than the reality today.

                                      Question is what do we do  about it ? Do we want to behave like an invader and take over Kashmir no matter how many we kill and yes in that case we will end up killing small children, helpless woman and ailing old people the bomb or bullet does not check its victim.

                                       Can we still give the love to the child even when he clearly does not care for yours ? The answer can be YES or NO, it can also be we will keep trying.

                                         If your answer is NO, we really don't deserve kashmir or for that matter any other region cause all these regions have their own personal issues with the state. Just like every child has some complain about his brother, mother, father or family in general. Do we kick the child out, do we give this child his own space or do we explain him and talk to him with calm and composure.
The most difficult is the third option cause the child will keep breaking our heart...but that is the one way we can get back that Child who will love us back and even fight for his mother...and not against it.

Have we realized the problem ?

...and the news is flashed on television of a 22 year old boy turned militant or terrorist or separatist, precisely enemy of state...
Followed by reactions of every person who gets a mic, camera or internet....

Most reactions are about solving the problem assuming that the problem is realized...

Have we realized the problem ?
We are using our eyes to see and brain to react on what we see.
Has the saying what we see is the truth really blinded us ?

Have we realized the problem ?
Are we listening to both sides of the narration ?
Are we only interested in punishing those whom we believe are wrong ?

Have we realized the problem ?
Are we feeling bad for a boy in his 20s who thinks this country is his enemy ?
Are we thinking about how can we change this ?

Have we realized the problem ?

In the age of 1000 channels, and 500 breaking news a second,

Are we thinking about another family that might be going through the same crisis ?

Are we thinking about the people who feel alienated ?

Have we realized the problem ?

Why does a student hang himself to death?

Why does a student feel giving anti national slogans is the only option left ?

Why does a student feel killing them will save my world ?

Have we realized the problem ?

Is his world not important ?

Is his belief not important ?

While we know what turned him into becoming criminals 

Have we taken any step to not turn him into one or we are just doing the same thing again ?

May be we have realized the problem but the problem is way close to us, may be in our own house, in our own conversations that we do not want to handle it, we do not want to persuade it and perhaps we do not want to own it ?

Have we realized the problem ?

Lets converse and find out each other's stories before.....its too late...

There are no universal heroes...

               First we need to understand what is a hero...who is a hero...? many years back in my history classes we were taught about heroes of India. The list included greats from history like King Ashoka, ShivajiRaje Bhosle , Mughal Emperor Akbar, later freedom fighters like Lokmanya Tilak and Mahatma Gandhi, Bhagat Singh, Bose and even Savarkar were introduced.

               We easily call some one a hero and also stick to our own beliefs that certain people are anti heroes. So what is a hero ? Hero essentially is an ordinary man who takes a challenge much bigger for him and successfully conquers it. Hero is a person who with time gets wise and brave, violent at times non violent.
                Today we have a generation who for years have been exposed to Films that has its own way of depicting a hero...but we forget a small thing...there are no universal heroes.. I will start with the example of Pakistani Army, I am using Pakistani Army to keep myself out of troubles..you are free to call me a chicken...

• For Pakistani citizens their army men are Heroes, let me put it this way, for most of the Pakistanis that will be the case...but for people in Baluchistan and may be for most people across the border Pakistani army are anti heroes or villains. 
• For average Kashmiris in the valleys, Separatists are worshiped as heroes and downwards as we enter Jammu the same men treated as evil or villains...popularly anti nationals..
• When some one burns down forests to create farms we call him hero for he is looking to feed the needy but for the species living in the forests this farmer is not a hero he is evil.
• We see activist who stand against the government for a small group of people for that small group these activist are hero and for the larger group they are villains...
• If Mahabharata would have been written from Karna's prospective all of Pandavs and even Krishna might have been termed as an anti hero and perhaps Duryodhan a true hero...

The whole point I am trying to make is that there are no universal heroes you as a person decide to take one side and whoever aligns with your thinking, whoever protects your fears is a hero for you...

As Indians we do need to understand that Hero is not an Indian concept, Krishna or Ram are not heroes..they don't change with time or become wise or brave...they are born wise, they are born brave..they don't change the world around them does, people with them do...( interpretations from articles by Devdutt)

To sum up the last example I have is again from Mahabharata

Krishna's elder brother Balram calls Duryodhan the real hero but you will not see Krishna abusing his brother or calling him Adharmi, Krishna only smiles and accepts it, because he understands that there are no universal heroes because every person has a different narrative and so the same for anti heroes...anti nationals...heroes and nationals...

Peshawar Attacks

What a father might have felt..........

I kissed his forehead asked him to be a good boy

I told him to study hard for I will be gifting him a toy

I was very sad I could not spend last weekend with him

I was unhappy I could not give him that ice cream

But I promised myself today evening when the doors open

I promised myself when he runs up to me

I will hug him and give him what he wants

I will give him the world if that is what he demands

But when I got there he was no where to be seen

What I saw was not him but something that resembled him

What I saw was two holes up his heart blood coming out of it

What all thought of it as blood was really my son's love for me...

#IndiaWithPakistan #HumanityFirst