A journey to find her.....................10

 Arun saw a person making tea at a corner. He looked at Kimaya and asked "Tea?" She smiled and agreed. Both walked to the tea vendor and ordered 2 half cup tea. Arun only looked at her as she slowly sipped the hot tea. Kimaya said "Life cannot be predicted, a few weeks back we met when I was still a dependent woman at the mercy of my parents, and now when I meet you, I am probably reborn as a new person" Arun interrupted her and said "Aren't you worried that your parents be tensed about you leaving the house this way?" Her eyes got moist and she said "Maa....I don't miss anyone else..." Arun felt bad seeing her in pain.

                              He looked at his watch he had another 10 mins. They walked to the station the train had just arrived. Arun and Kimaya sat on the same chair which Arun was on some time back. Arun ran behind Kimaya and in that spur of moment he left his diary on the seat. Kimaya had the diary in her hand now and was reading it. Arun could not stop her as she went through every page and tears dropping on to the diary. She looked with her wet eyes towards Arun and said "Is this your diary?" Arun wanted to react, but he was shocked. Kimaya's voice had changed, it was more manly. She repeated "is this your diary?" in the same manly tone. Then she kept one hand on his shoulder and shook him.

                               Arun was awake. He saw the diary in the man's hand, he was shaking him. Arun had slept on the chair while looking towards the ceiling. Arun  looked around and he was still in a semi awaken state. He got up, picked up his bag and pulled the diary from the man's hand. He then walked to a lonely wash basin and washed his face. Just then he heard the train making its way to the station from darkness.

                               Arun got into his berth. As the train was about to leave, he heard some one getting in the train. There was some chaos at the doors. He looked out and saw a girl with an elderly woman walking towards his berth. Arun smiled at both the woman. They placed their bags and sat across his seat. "These coolies, I tell you... the girl said looking at Arun and other fellow passengers..." Arun looked away outside the window. He slept resting his head over the window. 

                               When he got up it was early morning. He had slept a lot more than he had expected. "You slept a lot son....must be tired.." the elder woman said. "We will reach Delhi in some time..." Her daughter got back to the seat, and then the woman walked away. The girl smiled at Arun and said "You write well, I am sorry I saw this diary and although one should not read other's diary I was not feeling sleepy so I....I am sorry...very sorry.." Arun was still trying to make sense of what was happening around. "You read the diary...." The girl showed a guilty face and said "Yes, I did..." Arun adjusted himself on the seat, his leg was asleep being in one position. He then asked the girl "What do you think of the story?" The girl smiled now and said "Its incomplete...." Arun yawned and said "How do you think it should complete?" The girl said "I don't know...but both Arun and Kimaya should have met...." Arun then asked what is your name "My name is Lalita." Arun got up and walked to the washroom.  When he walked back both Lalita and her mother were packing their bags. "Do you live in Delhi?" Arun answered "yes, I am a professor in Delhi University"

                                Lalita's mother looked at him and said "Lalita has got a job in Delhi so we are now going to live there. I lost my husband at an early age and that made me get out of the house and work. Lalita now works and takes care of me" Both women looked at each other and smiled.At the Delhi station Arun bid farewell to the two women. Arun then slowly walked towards the rickshaw near the Delhi station that would take him back home. While he walked he wondered what the journey was about. Was it about finding a girl? Was it finding himself?" The characters he met from the old watch man  outside the hostel. The hostel warden, Kimaya's mother, the rickshaw drivers that though poor had a unique happiness on their faces. The man who neighbored the author. All of them were in front of him. And the last was an image of Lalita and her mother. Two women who were forced to work in the man's world out of no choice. Kimaya was some where but Arun had decided to not find her any more..........she was a dream....and dreams are to be forgotten. 

                                Vijay was well dressed and so was his wife. They got out of the  car, which Vijay had recently bought with two garlands in their hand. They climbed the stairs and walked into a small room. The lawyer was sitting on his chair. To the lawyer's left was Lalita and her mother while to his right was Arun smiling. Arun and Lalita were going to have a register marriage. After the small meeting in the train they bumped into each other a lot more. Arun started to visit their small house in Delhi. Lalita was an understanding woman, Arun thought, he deiced to marry her. The mother and daughter would live with him in his house.

                                 Vijay and his wife were happy for Arun. After a few months of the marriage, once Arun was reading a news paper. A certain girl has started a business in Nagpur with a group of rural woman. Her name was Kimayal. For a while Arun thought, just then Lalita got out of the kitchen and saw Arun in thoughts. She saw the newspaper and picked it to read the news. She looked at Arun squinting her eyes. Arun smiled and took her hand. He then said "My journey to find her got over with you.....and i love you......" Lalita only smiled in return.....................................

A journey to find her...............9

 .............so after all his assumptions had gone wrong, Arun sat on the Howrah station. A needless and fruitless journey to Calcutta had come to an end. As he sat on the station for the train that would take him to Delhi he wished he could forget everything that had happened. But then he thought he rather record this unfinished stupid journey he had been on. He took out a diary and started noting down everything that happened from the time he met Kimaya.

                     His train to Delhi was another 2 hours away. But he did not want to go to any other place. The visit to the jail was useless too. First the authorities did not allow him to meet the author. But later when they did the author showed no interest in his questions. She took Arun to be a reporter whom she did not wish to give any interview.

                     Arun was still positive that Kimaya took the bold step to leave her house because the author's writing was thought provoking for a woman of Kimaya's thinking. And then the author mentions clearly at the end of her book, asking woman to visit her so she can guide them to an independent life. Arun had taken a chance and had failed. After an hour when he had wrote the last part of his journey he kept the diary besides on the seat and rested his head on the chair. He looked up and he could see an unclean ceiling of the station. A fan that was rotating at a very slow speed. He closed his eyes for a while and he saw her again. Kimaya sitting across the seat. Her voice, her eyes and her departure from the train, all the scenes were fresh. 

                     Arun opened his eyes and got angry on himself for not able to get the girl out of his head. He looked at the other direction and in a distance he saw a blur image. Arun looked at the other direction and then looked back at the exit. He picked up the bag that he had placed near by and started running. Soon he was out of the station. He looked around and then started running towards the road, he was breathing heavily by the time he had crossed the road. He entered the building he had a few visited hours back and now raced to the same floor he had been too.

                     She was knocking the door but the door was locked. Arun almost out of breath said "She is not here...." Kimaya looked towards him. Kimaya quickly replied back "Where is she?" "She is arrested." Kimaya sat on the stairs. Arun sat next to her. "Why. What happened?" Kimaya asked. Arun said with a smile on his face "She took part in a protest against the government leading to riots with the police and..." Kimaya had an angry look "What is to smile in that?" Arun could not hide his happiness of meeting Kimaya, after all his assumptions were not all wrong. She got up and said "God...I need to meet her...." Kimaya started to walk downstairs.

                      Arun followed her. After following her for some time, he said loudly "You don't remember me..." Kimaya turned around with her eyes fixed on Arun. "You are the...O so sorry, didn't we meet....right...now I know...nice to meet you..." Arun moved ahead and said "Arun..." Kimaya walked away from him and said "Well! How come you are here?" Arun looked at her she was wearing a lemon green saree, her hair neatly tied, ""hello" Kimaya said. 

                       Arun smiled and then said "I was here for some work, and I wanted to meet the lady who wrote such an inspiring book, so I visited this building some hours back and found out that she is arrested and all..." Kimaya frowned hearing it and said "I know, its such a bad luck, but I have to meet her." Arun cut her in between and said "So what are you doing here Gayatri, you lived in Bombay right?" Kimaya said "Gayatri?" Arun replied "Isn't that your name?" Kimaya walked close to him and said "Did I say that last time, I am so sorry Arun....just did not want to give my real identity to a stranger..my real name is Kimaya...and I have just shifted to this city for work...I got a job a few days back...but I had to meet the woman who inspired me to take a step of getting out of the house and stay independent in this men's world...I actually ran away from my house a few weeks back...but this was after we met....had a fight with my Dad...took a decision...by God's grace..everything turned out to be well....." Arun acted surprised hearing Kimaya.

                       But what next? Arun thought, his train was another hour from now. Kimaya clapped to get Arun out of his thoughts. "Arun, I asked how long are you in the city.." Arun replied "...another 50 mins and then I take the train from the station..." Kimaya smiled and said "I think I will come back later in the week and hope I meet her then....ok...I also need to take a train......" Kimaya and Arun walked towards the station.............................

A journey to find her............8

 .............it was cloudy but humid. The train stopped and Arun was out on the Howrah station.He carried a small bag in one hand. A copy of the book that brought him to the city was peaking from his shirt pocket. Arun walked towards a rickshaw and asked the driver "Will you take me to this address?" He flashed the last page of the book. The driver smiled and said "May be you are new to this place. This place is right across the road." The reply brought a big smile on Arun's face.

                  He crossed the congested road. It was an old building. As he entered the building and started walking up the stair it made a squeaky voice. Arun wondered how a woman living in such a building can help other women. He knocked on the door, there was no answer. He knocked hard this time.

                  "Hello Sir!" Arun moved back after hearing the voice. But then he looked down at the door it was locked. Now he looked around to find the voice. It was a man wearing no shirt, just shorts. He was brushing his teeth with black charcoal. "Sir, madam is not here.." Arun smiled at the man. He walked towards him and said "Do you know when she will return? I have some important work."

                   The man spat out from the balcony. Arun did not like it and showed his unrest by tweaking his nose. "Sir, she is arrested.." "What?" Arun reacted and continued "But why?". The man took some water in his mouth and started to gargle. He then spat the water out and said "Sir, she is an author, may be you know but lately she had joined the communist. They were protesting against the government and its policies. The protest turned to riots between the police and the rioters. All of them were arrested. She was one of them. Brave woman, but I don't agree protesting against Indira, she is also a woman. Whom do you support?"

                    Arun started to walk away upset. While he walked down using the same stairs, the man screamed "Sir, she is arrested and imprisoned at the Alipore Jail." Arun felt bad, he should have thanked the man. He looked upwards and screamed back "Thank you.." The man waved his hand to bid farewell.

                     Arun got out on the road and walked to the rickshaw. It was the same driver "Sir, you did not get what you needed?" Arun was happy to see the friendly nature of the driver. "Friend I need to go to  Alipore Jail. Do you know the way?" The driver now showed a concerned look. "That is really far about 13 miles. Take a bus. Arun followed as his new friend suggested. It was after another hour that he reached the jail.

                      Arun walked to the office out side the jail to take an appointment. While he walked he wondered about the amount of assumptions that he had made. His big assumption being that the girl has travelled to calcutta to meet this author. The second being the the author knows where Kimaya is. The third being that the author will speak to him about Kimaya, after all she ran away she might have asked to keep her identity secret. After knowing the author is in jail, Arun came to meet her again assuming that she will talk to him in the jail about a certain girl that he probably likes a lot. His intelligent brain had boycotted him long back he thought. But he continued to walk giving a deaf ear to his apprehensions...............

A journey to find her..................7

 ............Vijay was tired after the days work. He relaxed on the couch listening to the evening show on the radio. Some one knocked on the door. Vijay got up from his seat and walked to open the door. When he opened the door he saw a thin man, with fat glasses standing in front of him smiling. Vijay smiled back. "Yes, how can I help you?" Vijay asked. "I am Suresh, Arun and I met in Bombay a week back during the conference. I was to come to Delhi so he sent a letter with me for you, here it is....." Suresh handed the letter to Vijay. It was sealed in an envelope. Vijay was confused. He suddenly realized that he had not asked Suresh to come in. "Please come in, so we can talk in detail, I have been worried about Arun for the last few days"

                 Suresh frowned and said "Sorry, I cannot, I have to leave for a very important work, in fact I am already late. Arun had requested me to give this letter and since I promised him then...." Suresh left. Vijay got back to his seat. There was a sense of excitement and concern in his mind. He switched off the radio. There were a thousand thoughts running in his mind. Vijay pulled his glasses that he used for reading.

                 After five minutes into the letter there was another knock on the door.Vijay was upset this time since he did not want to leave the letter. He briskly walked to the door and opened it. It was his wife. She was carrying a bag full of vegetables. Vijay pulled it from her hand and kept it aside. He then pulled her hand and asked her to sit on the couch. "What?" his wife complained. "Remember I told you about Arun and that he had gone to Bombay to find a girl.." "Right I remember that..." Vijay's wife cut him off and said.

                 "Arun sent a letter through a friend of his, I was reading that, the girl actually gave him a fake name. But that is not the end, he later found out that the girl is missing.." "O! Then where is he now." Vijay's wife asked. Vijay said "Yes that is what I was about to read when you entered. "Please read loudly" Vijay started to read the letter loudly "...I was sitting at gateway wondering what I can do. I decided to leave for Delhi but something in me kept on saying that I should find out about the girl. The next day I visited her home." Vijay and his wife exchanged looks.

                 Vijay continued reading "She is from a rich family. But the people were not good with me. Her father was least interested in talking with me. Her brother asked me many questions but did not tell me why his sister left the house. I was not happy with the treatment but I still wanted to know why is she missing. Her father and brother left the house, asking the girl's mother to answer the rest of my questions. Her mother was a nice woman. She explained me everything. Some of the things I had already predicted, had come true. Basically the girl's father wanted her daughter to get married. But Kimaya, well that is her name as I found out in the newspaper wanted to work. Even in today's age its disheartening to see that parents don't encourage their daughters to work. The conflict in their thoughts led to a quarrel in the house and one day Kimaya left the house. Her mother cried as she told the story. But I was still clueless, I knew the reason as to why she left the house, when she did it, but where did she go? thats still a question mark....." Vijay turned the page to read further.

                  But then today when I walked into the local library I saw the same book that Kimaya was reading in the train. I read the entire book. It was truly inspiring and I am not surprised that Kimaya took such a step after reading the book. The last page of the book gave me the clue as to where she might be. The author of the book is a woman and she had mentioned that she would like to help woman who want to break the shackles of society and live independent life. I think Kimaya for sure would have gone to meet this author and this woman is probably my next clue. There is a chance that I might be wrong, but today I would not want to think that. I am leaving for Calcutta for that is where this author lives. Once I reach there I will send you a telegram. I hope you are in good health and so is my sister, your wife. Suresh is a good friend who was coming to Delhi so I quickly penned down everything and gave him this letter...."

                  Vijay kept the letter down. He placed both his hands on his head and said "he is gone mad.." his wife replied and said "...in love" Both simled.

A journey to find her..............6

 .........and hence I support Indira Gandhi, her tactics might seem wrong today but they will be fruitful in the longer term." Arun completed his speech. A few claps were heard. Arun was one of the few from the assembled scholars  who supported the ruling government and the prime minister. Arun got back to his seat. Some other speakers continued most having contrasting views. Although Arun did not agree to them he did took notes of the way they presented the points. Being a professor he thought these are somethings that he should adapt while he take lectures.

            Last three days, Arun had completely concentrated on the conference. He had not pondered about the girl.He had booked his return ticket for the night train. He had made a friend in the last 3 days. His name was Suresh. He was a professor in Mumbai, being of the same age they connected very well. Suresh also agreed to Arun's views. Suresh had suggested Arun to visit the gate way of India. Arun had read about it and decided to not leave such an opportunity.

             After the conference, he had some time to fulfill his wish. He sat in the familiar rickshaw and it brought back his memories of the first day. His travelling in the rickshaw to the hostel. The humiliation. Arun also remembered the words of his friend Vijay. Vijay was right, Arun thought he cursed himself to loose his mind over a girl and it was one of the most stupid things that he had thought in his life of doing.

              The wind was blowing strong when Arun got down at the Gateway of India. He soon realized he was not the only tourist there. Arun had once visited a remote village in Orissa. It was near the sea. This was the second time he was seeing the large mass of water. There were a few ships that looked like dots near the horizon.  After viewing the fantastic architecture of the gateway he sat on a chair,looking towards the evening sky. He saw a group of birds flying together. He thought it was symbolic to him since he was leaving for Delhi tonight back to his nest.

              Arun had some time, so he decided to buy a newspaper. He walked to a newspaper stand and bought a regional newspaper. He wanted to check if there was any mention about the conference. Most of the pages of the newspaper had pretty much the same content that he had heard in the  discussions over the last 3 days. Arun was not able to find any mentions about the conference. He read every page and finally turned to the last page.The last page looked more for the advertisers. He was about to the turn the page out of no interest, but suddenly something caught his eyes.

              Arun was shocked seeing the picture of Gayatri in the newpaper. It was under the column where missing people are listed. He read the news carefully. Her real name was Kimaya and she was missing..............

A journey to find her…….5

…….Arun took out 3 coins from his pocket totaling to 25 paise. The rickshaw driver accepted it and drove off leaving Arun at the gates of a newly constructed building. Arun read the name engraved on the side walls of the gate. He had come to the right place. Arun walked towards the gate, the watchman who was sleeping on a chair near the gate woke up. He saw Arun and saluted him. He then smiled at Arun and said “Sir, whom do you want to meet?” Arun was happy seeing the hospitality of the watch man. He said in a soft voice “I want to meet some one who lives in this hostel.”

                   The watchman looked at Arun for a while and then said “At this time most girls are in the college, but today is a Sunday, are you Manisha’s brother, I remember seeing you once.” At first Arun wanted to correct him, but he quickly discarded the thought and nodded in agreement with the watchman. The watchman escorted Arun towards the office. While he walked he explained Arun how every girl living in the hostel appreciates his work and how most of them personally know him. Arun pulled a 5paise coin and placed on the old man’s hand who returned back to his place.

                   The watchman had escorted Arun to the office. Arun sat on a chair, soon a woman who was probably in her late 40s got in to the office and took the chair across the table. “Hello, I am Miss Kulkarni, are you a relative of a girl living here…let me know the name of the girl you are here to meet…I know this may sound weird…but this is a girl’s hostel…..we have to be very strict and make sure we don’t allow any anonymous person to get into it…” Arun wiped the sweat on his forehead and said “I am here to meet Miss Gayatri..” The woman said loudly “Vidya…”

                   Another woman dressed like Miss Kulkarni in skyish blue saree entered the room. She looked at Arun, then towards Miss Kulkarni. “Yes Madam..” “This is Mr…” Arun smiled and said “I am Mr. Arun and would like to meet Miss Gayatri…” Vidya smiled and left. Miss Kulkarni read a few papers lying on her table, after realizing that they are useless she threw them in the thrash bin.

                   Vidya entered the room followed by Gayatri.”Hello Madam…” Miss Kulkarni greeted back. Miss Kulkarni said “Gayatri your relative Arun is here to meet you…” Arun raised his hand as if to interrupt Miss Kulkarni “I am so sorry, but this is not the Gayatri I wanted to meet” All three woman stared at Arun. Miss Kulkarni indicated Vidya to leave the office. Gayatri followed her. “Mister, in his hostel there is only one Gayatril, and I know every girl in this hostel…:” Arun was confused, the name of the hostel, may be there are two hostels by the same name in Bombay he thought. “Miss, I am sorry for the confusion is there another hostel in Bombay by the same name…”

                    Miss Kulkarni was now angry “I don’t know what you want, you say you are a relative and now you are not even sure about the hostel name, for your information this is the only hostel with this name and this is the only Gayatri staying here…now if that is not the Gayatri you had come to meet I would kindly request you to leave…….”Arun walked out of the hostel. While he walked out the watchman saluted him back and asked if he got to meet Manisha.

                    Arun ignored the watchman. He looked at his watch. It was close to 11am. Arun decided to find a lodge. While he walked on the roads he replayed the image of the girl in the train. He remembered her saying Pandita Ramabai Hostel and her name as Gayatri. Arun felt cheated, disappointed and humiliated at the same time.

                                                                    to be continued…………………….